


Sky Sports Pundits' Secret Tryst in Cardiff

by Anonymous



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: M/M, Voyeurism (kind of?)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 04:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18564241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The Daily Mirror has been granted access to exclusive footage of a space used by Sky Sports as a dressing room at Cardiff City Stadium on Easter Sunday (21 April 2019)...





	Sky Sports Pundits' Secret Tryst in Cardiff

**Author's Note:**

> This is obviously pure fiction. It is loosely inspired by a vaguely remembered fic I read many years ago in another fandom that must now be all but unfindable.

The _Daily Mirror_ has been granted access to exclusive footage of a space used by Sky Sports as a dressing room at Cardiff City Stadium on Easter Sunday (21 April 2019). It lacks any audio component, but shows an exchange between former Liverpool and Manchester United players, now well-known television pundits Jamie Carragher and Gary Neville. Carragher, also a writer for the _Telegraph_ , may find himself having to set football analysis aside in this week’s column, to explain just what is going on between him and Manchester property developer Neville. For legal reasons the video cannot be shown here. What follows is a description of what the hidden camera recorded.

The door opens, and Neville walks in, followed by Carragher, who shuts the door behind him. Neville approaches the vicinity of the camera, pulls off his tie and starts removing his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt. Carragher stays back and watches for a few seconds.

Carragher speaks to Neville. A lip-reader specialising in Liverpudlian accents interprets his words as: ‘Do you want to fight me?’

Neville pauses in undressing and turns to Carragher briefly. From Carragher’s expression, it would seem that Neville gives a short response.

Carragher appears to say: ‘It might make you feel better, you know, to take it out on someone.’

Neville, now facing the camera again, says: ‘Why would I want to fight you? You’ve not done anything. It’s not your fault the United players were a complete f***ing disgrace today. How would hurting you make me feel better?’

Carragher looks disappointed. Neville takes off his white button-down shirt and pulls on a black t-shirt. Carragher approaches and puts his hands on Neville’s shoulders, appearing to massage them. Neville closes his eyes.

After a few minutes, Neville speaks again, but his head has fallen forward, making his words impossible to deduce. Carragher gives a pained smile and says: ‘Come here you daft t**t’, pulling Neville off balance and into a hug. This lasts for 18 seconds and then Carragher, now only visible in profile, seems to say: ‘You know I’m no fan of United, but I hate seeing you like this.’ Neville’s hands are seen to tighten their grip on Carragher, who appears to give Neville a peck on the cheek.

The two separate, but remain close, and seem to exchange more words, the view of their mouths however being blocked by Carragher’s arm, which is still around Neville’s shoulders. After 43 seconds, he takes Neville’s face in his hands and kisses his cheek three times, followed by another kiss to his forehead. Carragher then looks intently at Neville, brushes his thumbs under Neville’s eyes and again kisses him quite deliberately on each cheek.

The commentators move into another embrace with Carragher’s face again turned away from the camera, but within a minute it becomes clear that they are kissing each other, if somewhat hesitantly. Carragher is slowly and repeatedly running the fingers of his visible right hand over the back of Neville’s head.

After four minutes, they move apart, though Carragher keeps Neville’s wrists in a loose hold. He seems to ask: ‘Give the [possibly ‘pub’] a miss, yeh?’, to which Neville responds in the affirmative. Carragher then asks: ‘Come to [undecipherable]?’ and Neville appears to agree after a couple of seconds’ thought.

Carragher releases Neville and changes his own clothes. Once each has finished dressing, which takes about three minutes, they both pack things away in bags, Carragher exhibiting what looks like slight impatience as Neville carefully winds a cable before putting it away. They turn to each other again, and Carragher frowns, rummaging in his bag and taking out a bottle of water and what seems to be a tissue or paper napkin. He unscrews the bottle, wets the tissue and rubs the side of Neville’s face with it, showing him the tissue afterwards (presumably having wiped off residual make-up from their filming prior). While he puts the water away again, Neville smiles, and when Carragher has finished, Neville pulls him close again for another unhurried kiss on the lips.

The two men are talking to each other as they move towards the door, but their backs are to the camera. They leave the room together. Nothing further of interest is recorded.

The pair, both married, have been known to joke on social media about their relationship, with Carragher recently referring to Neville as his ‘other Valentine’ in February of this year, but who would have guessed that there might be more to their banter? Neither Mr Carragher nor Mr Neville was available for comment.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to show Jamie caring, but also to see if I could make that tenderness come through despite a cold (even somewhat hostile) outsider point of view. I should also add that I have no idea what a paper legally can or cannot, or would or wouldn't do! *handwaving*
> 
> ETA (27 April): I love that within a couple of days of this, Jamie was defending and being possessive of Gary in public: https://mobile.twitter.com/footballjoe/status/1121312845302566913?s=21.


End file.
